If you are into family history at all, chances are you’ve heard of Bruce Feiler. He is one of the most-oft quoted experts on the power of storytelling in genealogy circles. After his article “The Stories that Bind Us” went viral in 2013, Feiler went on to author a book that dove deeper into the topic and headline the 2016 RootsTech conference.

Feiler calls himself a “lifestorian,” and his current book goes far in legitimizing that title.

This month he released Life Is in the Transitions, a book based not only on research from past psychological and university studies, but on a trove of data he collected himself over the course of three years when he roamed the country (all 50 states, in fact) interviewing people about their lives.

Not just any old meandering, curiosity-fueled interview, either, but what Feiler calls the “Life Story Interview,” based on narrative studies pioneer Dan McAdams’s template, modified for his purpose today: “My goal is to understand how we all live now—how we navigate the transitions, disruptions, and reinventions in our lives in a way that allows us to live with meaning, balance, and joy.”

Feiler includes the interview template in the final pages of the book, and this, to me, is one of the most valuable extras he provides.

For as someone who interviews people for a living—helping you discover and articulate your own stories, and ultimately guiding you to find the meaning within your experiences—the straightforward yet flexible form of the Life Story Interview provides me with another way to do just that. Also: It gives YOU the tools you need to have enlightening and meaningful conversations with family members (something that both Feiler and I hope you do!).

I read the book with two different agendas:

One, as Feiler hoped: to better understand how to weather the myriad transitions we face in our modern lives, not only philosophically, but practically—to discover a toolkit for handling the changes and coming out (often better for it) on the other side.

Two, as a personal historian: to find more proof, more relatable anecdotal and data-driven evidence, that crafting and sharing our own personal narratives can be healing, productive, and best of all, meaning-making.

And yes, I got this and more from my reading.

Why You Should Read this Book

1 - As a Tool for Your Own Discovery

Feiler’s premise is simple: We are no longer living in a straight line with predictable milestones shaping our lives. Rather, we are bombarded by changes (more often, and at varying times).

“We experience life as a complex swirl of celebrations, setbacks, triumphs, and rebirths across the full span of our years,” Feiler writes. And yet, all of our coping mechanisms are based on this outdated notion of life as a single forward trajectory.

Moreover, our expectations of life are based in this same idea. If we correct that—if we can instead expect the nonlinear life trajectory as normal, even inevitable—we’ll be much happier, Feiler posits. “Trained to expect that our lives will unfold in a predictable series of stately life chapters, we’re confused when those chapters come faster and faster, frequently out of order, often one on top of the other.”

A cursory reading of Life Is in the Transitions goes far in letting us know that we’re not alone in our nonlinear experience of life; a deeper reading provides myriad opportunities for self-reflection as well as strategic approaches for navigating all those curveballs life is sure to yet throw our way.

And considering we’re all in the midst of what Feiler refers to as a “lifequake” as we navigate the Covid-19 pandemic, what could be timelier?

2 - as a source for some inspirational human stories

It’s easy to get lost in the mini-narratives of people’s lives that Feiler includes throughout the book: they’re placed in certain chapters to illustrate certain tenets of Feiler’s newly proposed paradigm of life transitions; but they’re also simply enjoyable to read, relatable even as they tell of one-of-a-kind scenarios. None of the transitions that are described in these stories are straightforward or simple—but they are real and compelling, and in the end, quite inspirational.

3 - as motivation for talking to your family about their stories.

“We have become a generation of unstorytellers… We need to return to the campfire. And we can. It’s as simple as saying to someone, Tell me the story of your life. And when they’re finished, say, I’d like to tell you mine.”

I could not agree more, and with Bruce’s easy-to-follow Life Story Questions on hand, I hope you will too!

A Few of My Favorite Quotes from the Book

“Lives are made up of memories, but when those memories remain episodic and disconnected, their impact dissipates.”

“Storytelling allows us to take life events that are exceptional, unforeseen, or otherwise out of the ordinary and domesticate them into meaningful, manageable chapters in the ongoing arc of our lives. This act of integration is storytelling’s greatest gift. It conventionalizes the unconventional. It transforms the untellable into a tale.”

“Everybody has a story, and not always the story the listener or teller expects to hear. The sharing is what brings out the surprise.”

“Transitions are autobiographical occasions.”

“Stories stitch us to one another, knit generation to generation, embolden us to take risks to improve our lives when things seem most unhopeful.”

Note: This is an unsolicited review of a book I purchased at full price. I did not receive any compensation or free products in exchange, and any endorsements within this post are my own.

Affiliate disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, we may earn commissions from qualifying purchases from Amazon.com.

Related Reading

• Listen to an interview with Bruce Feiler on dealing with life-altering transitions (NPR).

• Read the Kirkus review: “An unusual self-help book, of particular use to those contemplating writing a memoir or otherwise revisiting their past.”

Have you read Life Is in the Transitions? I’d love to know what you think. Share one of your own favorite quotes, lessons, or insights in the comments, won’t you?